Hiya friends! I realize things have been sort of slow around here, and I can imagine that those of you that read this blog know why. After my Dad died, I was pretty shaken up about it. It still hasn’t completely sunk in as reality, and I know it’ll take a while for it to, so I am dealing from day to day with it all. One thing good that has come from this situation is my determination to start taking better care of myself. You see, for the past few years I’ve been in a funk. I’ve gone through postpartum depression, seemingly recovered from that, then wham bam, along came another bout of depression regarding other aspects of my life. Just when I thought I was on the other side of that, all of these new experiences have come along, but this time I’m in control!
I don’t know how or why this time is different, and the only thing that I can come up with is that looking back on how my Dad handled his personal health for many years really puts my own into perspective. Before diabetes entered the picture, he was a wild and crazy guy, never really stopping to take a moment to care for himself. Once he was diagnosed it was as if it never happened to him, and he neglected himself once again. I have no doubt that it caused many of the problems to come regarding his future health, and so I am looking to him as an example to not follow regarding my own. I am positive he looked back about it all and wished he had taken all more seriously sooner, but that was God’s plan for him, and so this is mine.
Now I find myself after years of neglecting my own personal health looking forward to a better existence. I am lucky in the way that I have no major disease in my life to deal with, and before anything rears its ugly head because I just didn’t try to help myself, I’m giving it my best effort to get healthy again.
I’ve been thinking about what is healthy for me mentally. As someone who suffers from anxiety, not a lot gets past me without making some sort of impact. That’s why I’ve been taking it slow here on the blog, and other projects that I’ve been dreaming up for the house. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a mile long list of things to do and share, so it’ll all make its way to the page, but it just may not be as quickly as I had anticipated it to. Blogging has been a great outlet for me through all of the depressions, but at the same time, my “must always be perfect” attitude causes me a lot of stress. Getting to know other bloggers, work with brands I never thought I’d have a chance to work with, grow my photography skills, and share my story, be it a decorating story, or craft story has been so wonderful. There is just this feeling you get when you know that something you’ve done has had an effect on someone else, and I guess that’s why I keep going with the blog despite the amounts of anxiety I have over it.
I’ve also been thinking about physical health, and how I have just let it fall to the wayside. After having my son, my body was not “my” body anymore. Any mom’s relate to that feeling? The changes were everything I had feared, and maybe the pre-existing anxiety I suffered from, combined with the postpartum magnified it all and made it worse in my eyes. After a few months of sulking about it though, I made the decision to lose the weight I had gained during the pregnancy, and at least get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. That was still high for me, as I had gained about 15lbs from my normal weight. I was successful in losing it all, using a diet called The 17 Day Diet, in which you cycle through 17 days of different dieting requirements. It worked for me, and I was so excited to be back to “normal” (as normal as I could be in my mind anyways). I’ve always struggled with self image, can you tell? Fast forward to today and I’ve gained all that weight back and then some! I found comfort in food during the past couple of years, and ate my feelings away. Meal after meal, I would eat fast food, even with a fridge full of good food just sitting there waiting to be used. Terrible, I know. Wings, pizza, Chipotle bowls, Mexican food, burgers, day after day, meal after meal. Soda always accompanying the food. It has all been too much for my small frame to handle. I have been looking in the mirror in shame over the obvious, and it hasn’t been the weight. It has been the neglect, and lack of self worth that I have been feeling for so long. As of a couple of weeks ago, I almost couldn’t recognize myself!
My cousin was kind enough to take photos of me and my family members that I saw at my Dad’s funeral for the first time in a long time. How terribly shocked was I when I saw the photos in my inbox? Well I was horrified at the person standing amongst the crowd. “Who is that?!”, I asked myself, fully knowing it was all of my personal neglect staring back at me. That was enough to shock me into reality. I was no longer myself, but I knew I could be if I just gave myself a chance, and so I have. As of the Monday before last, I have cut the fast food out of my life, along with the soda. I am eating healthy home cooked meals, and when I am faced with eating out, I have made much wiser choices in the foods I order. Water is my best friend, and I am exercising at least 30 minutes a day. In only a week I feel like a new person. The anxiety is not as prevalent, probably due to the exercise, and I have taken on a sort of glow that I haven’t seen in a while. Oh and my double chin is disappearing as I type! 😉 It’s a Godsend really, and I plan to continue down this path of health for not only myself, but my family. My plan is for great health for all of my family members. John has joined me on this journey, since I truly believe that the whole family has to be in on it, and he has already lost some weight, and inches too! Rordan continues to eat well, thankfully I at least had that under control. He’s a pretty picky eater, but I’m hoping to introduce more and more veggies to his diet as time goes on, so we will see how that goes!
I am so excited to see where we are all at in a years time. My hope is that we are out and about much more as a family, with no health problems looming due to our diet, and of course that we are happy. Overall that’s the goal, and I see how my
diet change of eating habits are already fueling that in my life, so I am sticking with it. I’ll be updating y’all every so often about our progress too, so stay on the lookout for it. I’ll keep with the “That’s Life” title to make it easier to follow along. Thanks again to everyone that has been so supportive of this blog as I have secretly been struggling behind the scenes. You’ll never truly know just how much I appreciate it.
Until next time!